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Nam-Myoho-Renge-Kyo - What I Really Learned From Tina Turner

Writer's picture: Rhonda RonsmanRhonda Ronsman

I will never forget when I first saw "what's love got to do with it". It was the early 90s, and I was in the throngs of dysfunctional behavior and alcoholism related to a lifetime of trauma, some of which I had nothing to do with creating, and some of which I created on my own as a result of my trauma, but really, as a result of not getting any help for the things that happened to me at the hands of others. I had no purpose, no path. I had no confidence. I had talent and I was singing a lot. But I wasn't really living and the singing wasn't doing anything for me. People loved the way my voice sounded, but I hated the way my heart felt.


I watched what Tina went through and the lifetime of pain that she suffered, not just from what happened to her while she was performing, but before that. The only thing that brought her the attention and love and care she craved was through singing. She was using music as a means to survive. Although our tramautic experiences were different, they created the same result. I sat through that movie and cried many tears for her - and for me secretly.


But I kept watching because I knew there was going to be another side. I knew that she was going to get to that place she was looking for. The part of that movie that got to me THE MOST out of any other part was when she tried to kill herself. She was in the hospital alone and a former backup singer for Ike and Tina came to visit her. Tina laid in that bed bare and broken and this woman visiting her didn't care how she looked. It was ONE PERSON who came to her and told her "if you need anything, call me".


Now - she had the love of the audience, and the love of the people who applauded and gave her the care and love she thought she so desperately needed, but when Tina got out of that hospital, she visited that one person who came to visit her when she needed it most and taught her this mantra: Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo. That mantra is what Tina would repeat to herself everyday. Before every show. Before getting about her day. After being beaten. After every show. She just kept saying it:


Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo

Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo

Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo

Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo


I felt such comfort in hearing and saying this to myself. I had NO idea what it meant. But it felt right. It FELT RIGHT. I did not say it every single day. But through every moment of difficulty, I did say it.


Tina ran one night when the opportunity arose. She left everything behind. The money. The applause. The contracts. Even the concert she was supposed to do that night. She ran to a hotel across the street with a swollen face, bloodied and battered, asking a hotel clerk if he would give her a room. He did as long as she needed it.


Now, does anyone reading this know how hard it is to put yourself in a place where you have to tell somebody I have nothing, please give me something? Not money - not a remedy for a symptom - but shelter. Somebody you don't know? I do.


She wasn't running FROM anything. She was running TO what she finally knew she deserved,


It took some time, but slowly, Tina defied the naysayers who said she was too old. She continued to not give in to drugs and alcohol to get her mind right. She hired people who had her back - not musicians who just knew how to play notes. The reason why she came out on top had less to do with the spirited support her audience gave her, but more to do with what she gave her audience....


Because of what she finally began to give to herself. She was better as a performer, because she was better as a person.


Honest to God, today was the first time that I looked up the meaning of Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo.


"Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo is thus a vow, an expression of determination, to embrace and manifest our Buddha nature. It is a pledge to oneself to never yield to difficulties and to win over one's suffering. At the same time, it is a vow to help others reveal this law in their own lives and achieve happiness."


Now for those who truly know me, I have spoken for many years about how we focus on "THE THING" that we are here to do. I personally believe tha we are not here to achieve financial bliss or to achieve status. We are not here to be the most popular, or to be on top. We are not here to be janitors, or waitressess (both of which I've done), or sales clerks, or CEOs, or Presidents, or poets, or singers, or performers. We are here for the purpose of people - people in how we treat ourselves, and how we treat each other. When we give a review about places we've visited, and experiences we've had at businesses, it comes down to how we are treated and how we treat others. Airbnb doesn't just take reviews from people who visit the establishments. The establishments give reviews on the people who visit their places. Even on a one way street, we pass people walking in the opposite direction.


What I remember most about being a waitress is the people. What I remember most about singing is not the amount of people who showed up - I remember the intimacy of one person coming up to me and crying talking about what a song did to them. Art Blakey, Frank Sinatra - many popular musicians - you would think would talk about the biggest crowds they've ever had. They don't. Their favorite places to play were the smaller venues because they had a connection personallly and individually to the people they MET. Not just played for.


Tina was the best, not just because of her energy. Not just because of her professionalism, not just because of her work ethic. She became the best and her legacy is that of being who she was because of that mantra. Winning over suffering doesn't mean you won't suffer. It means that when you do, you have a way to manage it by understanding that you do not have to become that which you feel. That you do not have to let it consume you. That you can be human, you can cry and still move - that crying IS moving. That by doing this for self, and sharing the experience, you can be an advocate every single freakin day for others by living in truth and personal deep prosperity. You do not have to compete for something that others do not posses - YOUR talent. YOUR individuality. You learn from others, but you still work on YOU.


More than any song I sang of hers, more than any performance I watched her do, I learned that I didn't have to succumb to what the world wanted me to be, or thought me to be. I didn't have to believe that doing the right thing had to be compromised because of what others believed about my loud and boisterous and autonomous nature. I didn't have to wait for people to drop an opportunity in my lap to trust what the oppportunity was telling me, without having reached out to me at all.


I feel complete not because of other people. I feel complete because of this mantra. I'm able to engage others because I've engaged myself.


If there is anything that anyone can take from her life, Nam-Moho-Renge-Kyo should be "THE THING."


Rest in eternal peace Tina. I, and we will never ever forget the joy and happiness you brought to so many people who couldn't leave a broken home, who couldn't find their way out of a domestic violence situation, who couldn't find a way to break through their own trauma - you did more than help "private dancers" find hope. You helped them find themselves.

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